*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* baby love has flown to India to attend a wedding ceremony...

man...its starting to get quiet without him ard...

how am i gona stand the stillness??

arghhhhhh!!

its just been 4hrs or so since he left. he's probably reached india and on the way to the house now...

hmm..

i rmbr the last time he went to india...it was abt a month long. that time, he wasnt sure when he was coming back..and there was no way of contacting him except for when he went online on msn. that too, for such a short while..i was goin insane at tt time...lol..started imagining lots of things...started seeing things tt kp reminding me of him, making me miss him even more...

but then...

he surprised me by calling n wishing me on my birthday!! i was holding on to my phone but my hands were shaking, i tell you!! i was soooooo happy!! tt bugger nvr told me when he was coming home...so it was indeed a surprise..

well...for this trip, i just gona tahan(endure) it like he did when i was away at Hong Kong...baby missed me so much he had to call me. lucky thing his prepaid allowed him to call overseas. that time mum had autoroam cos dad didnt come along...so, lucky fr us!!

anyway, got lots of things to do to preoccupy my itme while he's away...so i hope they'll keep me from thinkin of the loneliness without him around...

because we meet almost everyday...its weird when we have to be kept from each other for so many days apart...

well, as they say..absence makes the heart grow fonder...

12days more to go till he returns.....

i sometimes wonder why i keep coming across people who want to backstab me. my intention is pure: to help them or at least give them some leverage..but in the end i get my ass poked and prodded, chopped into pieces and dumped somewhere. time n time n time n time again, the finger is always pointed back to me. guess i deserve it for getting involved. n i guess u cant be too nice...or mayb u shldnt be nice at all..what for, when it seems like almost everybody wants to be nasty to u..right??

*sigh*

i've always done experimentations on food, and on a whim, i thought of putting up one of my inventions...hahha!

kanimi crab with creamed avocado

1 ripe avocado
5pcs kanimi crab
few pcs creamed crackers
1/2 lemon
1tsp dried rosemary
1tsp dried basil
2tsp dill
a few pinches of ground black pepper
1tbsp creamed cheese
1tsp sugar
1tsp olive oil

to make the avocado paste, it is better to get a ripe avocado which has a soft flesh. first, cut the avocado in half with a sharp knife. remove the seed and scoop the flesh into a bowl. using a fork, mesh it up then add the creamed cheese. quarter the lemon and squeeze the juice into the mixture. mix it well, then add the sugar. this will give a sweet, salty and sour paste that goes really well together. lastly, add 1teaspoon of dill and mix well. once it is done, refrigerate it.

to prapare the kanimi crab, put it in a bowl and squeeze the other quarter of the lemon. add the dried rosemary, dried basil and the remaining teaspoon of dill. they can be found in individual bottles in supermarkets. alternatively, you can buy dried mixed herbs or use fresh herbs. give it a few turns in the bowl, then microwave it on medium for 5min. take it out, remove the juices, then add the olive oil, give it another turn and put it back into the microwave for another 5mins. alternatively, you can mix all the ingredients and put it in a baking tray and use the oven to cook it till it is slightly brown.

to assemble everything, it is up to your imagination. here are the examples of what i've done. instead of using creamed crackers, you can also use the bite-sized ones, especially if this is done for functions or events.

Im still up trying to cram as much info as i can about management in time for my exam later at 10am...so i listened to the radio to keep me company n this song caught my attention through its lyrics; n i just smiled to myself....hehe =)

by Shontelle ft. Akon

you can think you could get free
you think you wont need me
that you're gona get you something better
but you know that we're in this forever
and you can think you could walk out
even with your doubts
but you know that we're in this together

you can try to push me from you
nothing you do can pull us apart

CHORUS
cos its too late, there's no escape
might as well face it
baby we're stuck with each other, stuck with each other
ain't nothing you can do about it
it's been too long, it's been too strong
cos we belong here
baby we're stuck with each other, stuck with each other
stuck in love with each other (stuck in love with each other)

now i cant say i would not care
if you were not there
tell myself that i'll be fine without ya
but i'd die if i was not around ya
and i can try to convince you
i don't need to be with you
but my only thoughts are thoughts about ya
what can i do, love is like glue
there's no way to tear out hears apart

CHORUS

there's nothin i'd rather do
than stick with you forever
cant think of nothing better
than be stuck with you

CHORUS repeat 3x

aint nothing gona stop me and you, eh
cos you know we're stuck like glue, eh
aint nothing we can do
we're stuck in love with each other...


yep...that just sums it all up...=)

the trees are being
slapped
by the wind left and right.
thunder clapping.
lightning flashing.
the sky is crying.

i went to visit my aunt at the hospital just now. they said she has ovarian cancer. she'll be undergoing 18 rounds of chemo starting from tomorrow. she previously had an operation to remove her womb because she had a cyst growing. doctors had said that there were traces of cancer cells. they did not do a follow-up. and so she experienced stomach pains, thus leading her to being admitted yet again.

and now this. -sigh-

she really shrunk in size and her tummy's swelled up, making her look as if she's 3mths pregnant, cos the body fluids entered her stomach. not a good sign. im praying for a recovery..at least i hope so. i have no idea at what stage her cancer is at. im just praying she will be able to survive this ordeal.

on a lighter note, i was on the train just now and a man sat opposite me, wearing tees and butterfly-cut shorts. his dick was showing. like, PLEASE wear an underwear! if not, then wear something longer, duhhhh

this song says it all...for my baby..

13.
people have been saying that this number is the unluckiest number that ever existed.
a lot of us have been wondering why.
i saw the truth in it.
April 13.
mark the date.
a lot of events happened on that day.

in history, here are some of the events that happened on that day:

1943 – World War II: The discovery of a mass grave of Polish prisoners of war executed by Soviet forces in the Katyñ Forest Massacre is announced, alienating the Western Allies, the Polish government in exile in London, from the Soviet Union.

1970 – An oxygen tank aboard Apollo 13 explodes, putting the crew in great danger and causing major damage to the spacecraft while en route to the Moon.

1975 – Bus Massacre in Lebanon: Attack by the Phalangist resistance kill 26 militia members of the P.F.L. of Palestine, marking the start of the 15-year Lebanese Civil War.

so what exactly happened on that day for me?
a lot.
when Max and I came out of my house, we saw a big group of indians.
why?
someone passed away.

what happened later at night?
our friend Bella fainted in the middle of the carpark.
we had help of strangers to carry her somewhere safe.
was so worried she would stop breathing cos she complained she couldn't breathe properly.
she told us the day after that she had heard the call for prayers, people crying for her, praying for her, that she saw the cemetary.
she'd said she heard the flapping of big wings.

so i played my part in trying to keep talking to her to get her conscious enough while Max gets help.
finally managed to get a hold of her mother about 1hr later.
wanted to get help from her fiance but thanks to his idiotic friend, we couldn't get hold of him.
with the help of her mother's boyfriend, we managed to help carry her home.

what happened after that?
Max was told a bad news.
he'd told me he had a really bad feeling while on the way home.
and he finally got to hear the bad news.

No bad thing really happened to me..
although the surrounding events lead me to believing that 13 really is an unlucky number.
in my opinion.

i dreamt something weird just now.
my tooth came off.
it was brownish and had lots of cracks.
the next view i see, i was holding my own skull.
it looked like those sort of plastic skull thingy, but i felt like i pulled it out from my head.
they said if you dream that a tooth came off, someone is going to die...

but before that part of my dream, the scene was really weird.
it's as if a community was being mind-controlled.
almost everybody in tha community were moving like zombies.
and if you went into an area where another community resides, everybody's fine but afraid of the governing bodies of that other community.

somehow, one part i find myself a hideaway with some others and we were in a tower of some sort.
below us were like police trying to catch the group i was with.
while in hiding, there was like a small bush of purple flowers.
i disturbed it and green spiders came out. next thing i know, they were like trying to wrap me with their web.
it began on my feet.
pulled the web off, then my hands felt the web.

so weird.

it's something ive noticed for quite some time now...i get headaches when something major is about to happen to me. not always, but it's happened quite a number of times to be passed off as nothing. usually these headaches are like bad omens for me..something like, it's a warning for what's to come. just now it happened. got wind of an issue that needed to be settled. the major one i had was when my dad was away at africa and i was really sick with flu, fever and cough..and major kick ass throbbing headache. i was in tears i tell you..i felt so helpless. a few days later, i got a letter saying i need to withdraw from school cos i didnt make it.

anyway, i got a call saying that i'm accepted into MDIS, Degree in Mass Communications. im expecting a letter this week, payment they want it in 2wks. Im still waiting on a reply from SIM for the Diploma in Management Studies.

on to other things, i was introduced to this song by Bella and im currently hooked on listening to it. the guy singing is her friend..his voice, omg...and he's pretty cute too..apparently, he was the one who wrote the song.